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A Lesson From A Teenager

Today I wanted to tell you a little bit about my daughter, and some amazing growth that she noticed in herself recently that I thought you could all learn from.


My daughter is very competitive in sports and this year we’ve decided that this will be her focus. I am always incredibly proud of her but recently she told me something that made me even prouder. Recently she competed at nationals, and that’s a pretty big deal for anyone, especially at her young age.


But, unfortunately, despite all of her hard work and training she didn’t achieve at where she thought she would. Maybe you’ve felt this disappointment before? When you haven’t received a raise, missed out on a job opportunity, or your team didn’t meet their monthly targets.


However, rather than seeing this disappointment as a reflection on herself, or her work-ethic, or her talent, she told me that instead of getting upset, she used this as an opportunity to see what she needed to work on. By that afternoon she was ready to start looking at how she could do better, and what training she could optimise to perform at the level she knew she was capable of at her next tournament.


I was incredibly proud because she showed such high levels of emotional intelligence and self-awareness. And she demonstrated a skill that I think many of us fail to recognise as something that’s holding us back. She was able to detach her self-worth from the outcome. Despite not performing how she wanted she knew that she had put in the hard work, that today wasn’t indicative of her overall performance, it was just one moment in her story. This is the lesson I want you to think about.

How is self-worth tied to achievement?

In today's fast-paced and constantly changing corporate world, our success is often measured by our achievements and failures. We are expected to achieve targets, meet deadlines, and climb the corporate ladder to reach the top. However, in the midst of all this pressure, it is important to remember that our self-worth should not be tied to our achievements or failures.


As corporate leaders, we can apply this same mindset to our professional lives. If things don't go as planned, it's crucial not to make it mean something negative about ourselves. Instead, we need to look at the opportunities for growth and how we can learn from our mistakes. By separating our self-worth from our achievements, we can develop a growth mindset, which will help us become better leaders.


Another way to separate our self-worth from our achievements is by focusing on our core values and purpose. Our values are the principles that guide our behaviour and decision-making. When we focus on our core values and purpose, we are less likely to tie our self-worth to external factors such as promotions or financial success. For example, if one of our core values is to make a positive impact on society, we can focus on that value and measure our success based on how much we contribute to that goal.


Separating our self-worth from our achievements can also help us develop a more empathetic and compassionate leadership style. When we don't tie our self-worth to our achievements, we are less likely to judge others based on their performance or success. Instead, we can focus on building relationships and understanding others' perspectives. This can lead to a more collaborative and supportive work environment, which can benefit both the company and its employees.


What is the the importance of self-worth in leadership?

It's crucial to hone in the skill of emotional intelligence and separate our self-worth from our achievements if we want to thrive emotionally amongst all the pressure of our external worlds. We need to learn how to manage our emotions and not let external factors affect our self-worth. By focusing on our core values and purpose, we can develop a growth mindset and become better leaders. Separating our self-worth from our achievements can also help us become more empathetic and compassionate leaders, which can lead to a more supportive and collaborative work environment. And that’s how a teenager can teach us all to be better leaders.


If you're seeing the signs of resilience in your teenage children, you can help strengthen that ability. Check out my book, Arrive & Thrive, written for teenagers and young adults. Arrive & Thrive is a journal dedicated to developing the crucial ingredients for your wellbeing. It will empower you to become more self-assured and self-aware. It will build you up to be resilient and encourage you to think about things in new ways. Best of all, it will guide you to discover how truly extraordinary you are.


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