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Writer's pictureDeidre Dattoli

Are you your biggest critic?

As I reflect on my personal growth journey, one lesson stands out: the importance of showing compassion for myself. For years, I struggled with self-criticism and negative self-talk, constantly berating myself for my mistakes and shortcomings. But as I learned more about the power of self-mastery and the impact of our thoughts on our emotions, I began to shift my mindset.


I started paying closer attention to my thoughts and questioning whether they were actually helping me or just contributing to a downward spiral of negativity. I realized that so often, we get stuck in patterns of thinking and feeling that are rooted in the past. We become addicted to the emotions associated with those familiar thought patterns, even when they don't serve us.


But as I became more consciously aware of my thoughts, I also realized that I had the power to stop those patterns in their tracks. By interrupting the autopilot and consciously choosing a different thought or perspective, I could create new emotions in my body that were more aligned with the person I wanted to be.


Of course, this is easier said than done. It takes practice and patience to develop the self-awareness and discipline needed to break old patterns and create new ones. But for me, it has been a journey well worth taking. By becoming more aware of my own psychology and learning to question my habitual thought patterns, I have been able to cultivate greater compassion for myself and become the most authentic version of myself.



So what does this look like in practice? For me, it starts with paying attention to how I'm feeling at any given moment. When I notice a negative emotion arising, I pause and take a moment to reflect on the thought or belief that triggered it. Is this thought rooted in reality, or is it a product of my own insecurities or past experiences? Is it serving me, or is it just creating unnecessary stress and anxiety?


Once I have identified the thought or belief, I can begin to challenge it. I ask myself: is this really true? What evidence do I have to support this belief, and what evidence contradicts it? Is there a more empowering or helpful way to look at this situation?


Sometimes, the answers to these questions come easily. Other times, it takes more effort and practice to shift my perspective. But every time I do, I feel a sense of relief and empowerment. I realise that I am not a victim of my own thoughts or emotions, but rather the creator of my own reality.


Of course, this doesn't mean that I never struggle with self-doubt or negative self-talk. But by becoming more aware of my own patterns and learning to question them, I have developed greater resilience and self-compassion. I am more able to recognize when I am spiralling into a negative mindset, and to take proactive steps to shift my perspective and cultivate a more positive and empowering outlook.


In the end, I believe that self-compassion is a critical component of personal growth and self-mastery. By learning to pay attention to our thoughts and emotions, and by consciously choosing a more empowering perspective, we can break free from old patterns and create the life we truly desire. So if you're feeling stuck or overwhelmed, I encourage you to take a moment to pause and reflect.


Ask yourself: what do I truly need right now? And remember, the power to create the life you want is within you.





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