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Acquiring the X-FACTOR!

Updated: Jun 26, 2020

How often do you meet someone for the first time and experience an instant rapport and wonder what it is about them that draws you in? Is it their clothes, hair, shoes or something less tangible? Often labelled the X-Factor, that something is actually called PRESENCE.

Authentic, positive, personal presence is made up of the way we carry ourselves and project our inner selves to the outside world through the way we walk, talk, behave, and interact - all of which add up to the positive impact we have on others.

Personal presence is a state of being, which when mastered, frees us from fear, and allows us to tap into our inner brilliance to wield a significant level of influence over our own potential, and that of others.

Those with presence are rarely the loudest people in the room, but they are almost always the most present, and engaged people in the room. They are the people who listen with intent, bringing the best versions of themselves to each situation, and remaining authentic to themselves at all times.

So how do you acquire the kind of personal presence that leads people and opportunities to positively gravitate towards you - particularly in the workplace?


Achieving balance in your internal world is essential to keeping you grounded in the present moment and enabling you to operate from your peak performance zone.

One of the simplest ways of becoming present is to practice balanced breathing. The great thing about this technique is that you can do it anywhere, at any time, by simply inhaling for 6 seconds and then exhaling for 6 seconds. Doing this regularly for just a few minutes at a time will help to bring your nervous system into balance. It also creates the necessary internal space to help you tap into, and mobilise, your internal resources of head, heart, and gut more effectively.


How you show up at work, for instance, is largely determined by how you feel about your job, and your ability to manage those feelings - be they positive or negative - in an effective way. Do you feel energised and enthusiastic or tired and deflated? When engaging with clients and colleagues are you truly connecting with them, or simply going through the motions. Are you experiencing the moment, or too busy answering your internal chatter?

Remember, your presence is about how others experience you, and the impression you leave them with. Is it a positive one? And if not, what can you do differently in order to make others feel they are better for having met you?


Personal presence is all about the impact you make on others and nothing makes a bigger impact than making people feel like they are of the utmost importance and interest to you.

Nurturing your network is not just about choosing a well-balanced set of contact but about really connecting with each and every one of those people in an authentic way and meaningful way. The gift of time; time to regularly sit, talk and LISTEN is one of the best ways of establishing the kind of personal and professional connections that last a lifetime.


The biggest problem of the fast moving times we find ourselves in is the increasing value we put on multi-tasking. The issue with multi-tasking is that it kills our ability to stay in, and appreciate, the moment - because that moment is suddenly fragmented into a myriad of smaller, often diametrically opposing moments, all occurring at the same time.

Bringing yourself back to the moment requires that you avoid dwelling in the past, or worrying about the future, and simply focusing on the here and now. Give yourself permission to do one thing at a time rather than consistently trying to multi-task.


To work effectively with your energy, you need to be aware of the things that both elevate and drain that energy. A key part of this is having an innate understanding of your strengths so you can channel the majority of your energy into leveraging them. Working with your energy, and mobilising your inner resources around your key strengths will result in not just feeling, but being, more present and productive.

Understanding the things, and people that drain your energy, including those areas you feel, represent weaknesses for you allows you to take positive steps towards mitigating them.


It is no secret that when we look good, we feel good. Feeling confident in the way we project our inner self visually to the outside world raises our overall vibration, which is fundamental to how we come across to others.

Dissonance between our authentic self, and the way we present ourselves outwardly through our personal style not only dilutes our sense of self and confidence it inhibits our ability to operate from our place of optimal performance; mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically, negatively impacting our personal presence.

About Deidre Dattoli

Speaker, author, and mentor, Deidre is highly sought after for her expertise in the fields of personal presence and leadership development. Deidre is passionate about leading and facilitating the kind of personal change that enables individuals to live and lead from their inner place of brilliance. To find out more about Deidre Dattoli, please visit

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