3 Problems Costing Leaders

There are three patterns I keep seeing beneath many of the challenges leaders are navigating right now. 

On the surface they can look unrelated, but underneath they often reinforce one another in a powerful cycle.

They are efforting, disconnection, and suppression.

I see these patterns show up personally, in teams, and across organisations. They affect well-being, decision-making, relationships and performance. Left unexamined, they quietly become the operating system people lead and live from.

1. Efforting

For many capable people, effort has been rewarded for a long time. Working harder, pushing through and doing more may have been what helped them succeed. So when something feels stuck, the instinct is often to increase effort.

But there comes a point where more force stops producing better outcomes.

This is where productivity can become a disguise for depletion. From the outside, it can look like discipline or ambition. Internally, it can feel like scattered energy, chronic tension and the sense that no matter how much you do, it is never enough.

I know this pattern well. At one point in my corporate career, efforting looked like commitment and success. Yet underneath, it was costing me energy, health and clarity.

In organisations, efforting often shows up as constant firefighting, over-functioning leaders, and teams reacting to pressure rather than leading through it. People hide behind busyness while the deeper issue remains untouched.

2. Disconnection

Over time, constant effort can create a second problem. We lose contact with ourselves.

We stop noticing what we feel, what we need and what we actually want. Decisions become habitual rather than intentional. We keep moving, but without a deeper sense of connection to why.

Personally, this can feel like living in Groundhog Day. Life functions, but it lacks vitality. There can be a quiet thought underneath it all: everything feels hard, and I do not know what else to do.

In leadership, disconnection often looks like solving symptoms rather than real problems. Teams chase goals that look good on paper, while losing sight of what genuinely matters.

This is often where meaning starts thinning out, even in highly successful environments.

3. Suppression

Disconnection often leads to suppression.

This is where people override what they feel, minimise what they desire, or silence what they instinctively know is not sustainable. It can look responsible and composed, which is why it often goes unnoticed.

I hear many high performers say, “I have achieved so much, but it does not feel fulfilling.” That is rarely about ambition. More often, it is the cost of suppressing parts of ourselves for too long.

In organisations, suppression can show up when leaders wait for permission, look outside themselves for all the answers, or mute honest conversations that need to happen.

And this is where the cycle loops back.

Suppression creates tension. Tension drives more efforting. Efforting deepens disconnection.

The good news is that this pattern can be interrupted.

The first shift is moving from disconnection to connection. That means learning to listen inward again, to your energy, your instincts and what matters beneath the noise.

The second shift is moving from efforting to aligned action. Less force does not mean less ambition. It often means clearer decisions and more sustainable results.

The third shift is moving from suppression to expression. Naming what is true, what needs attention, and what is no longer working is not a weakness. It is leadership.

This is the deeper work many leaders need right now.

And this is the deeper work that we are able to access through my coaching programs or facilitation for your team. If you’ve been feeling disconnected, exhausted, and no longer sure of what success looks like, then now is the time to reach out.