Stress Isn’t The Villain In Your Story

Stress has become one of the most commonly misunderstood aspects of our experience. We’re often told to avoid it, eliminate it, or simply “calm down.” But what if stress wasn’t something to suppress, but something to understand?

The truth is, stress isn’t inherently bad. It’s not a flaw or a failure. It’s a signal, a deeply intelligent one, from our body and nervous system that we are being asked to meet a moment that matters.

Most of us are familiar with the narrative that stress is dangerous. It causes harm. But what’s often overlooked is that it’s not the stress itself that causes the most damage; it’s our relationship to it.

It’s how we perceive and respond to stress that shapes whether it becomes depleting or empowering.

Chronic, unresolved stress can indeed affect our health and clarity. But acute stress, when properly understood and supported, can be a powerful force of focus, energy, and mobilisation.

Psychologist Dr Kelly McGonigal speaks to this in The Upside of Stress, where she reveals that when we shift our beliefs about stress, we actually change our biology. Instead of entering a shutdown or survival mode, the body activates what’s known as the challenge response. This state increases heart rate variability, focus, resilience, and even connection with others through the release of oxytocin, the hormone associated with bonding and trust.

In other words, when we see stress as a sign that we care, that something matters, our body supports us in rising to meet it.

Think of the last time you felt stressed. Maybe it was before a presentation, a big conversation, or launching something deeply meaningful. That flutter in your chest, the racing thoughts,it wasn’t your body betraying you. It was your body preparing you.

Stress often arrives not because we’re weak or broken, but because we are invested. Because something is important. Your stress can be a sign of devotion, not dysfunction.

So, rather than push it away, what if we learned to meet it?

That begins with presence. With learning to listen to the signal and offer the body what it needs to feel safe and resourced. Not rigid strategies, but inner scaffolding — practices that regulate without suppressing.

Here are a few simple ways to build this inner scaffolding:

Ground before a big moment: A few conscious breaths and an intention like, “Let me be fully present, open-hearted and anchored in truth,” can steady the nervous system.

Create transition cues: Light a candle, stretch for two minutes, or diffuse a grounding scent when shifting from work to home life. These rituals help your body shift gears with intention.

Clear your energy at the end of the day: Water rituals, movement, or even writing down unfinished thoughts help you close loops and invite rest. Try the phrase: “I’ve done enough. It’s safe to rest.”

These aren’t performance hacks, they’re quiet invitations back to your centre. A way of remembering who you are and returning to that place with consistency and compassion.

Stress doesn’t need to be feared or fixed. It needs to be felt, understood, and alchemised.

So the next time your body feels tight, your mind races, or the world feels too loud, pause.

Ask:

“What is this stress asking of me?”

“Where is it trying to take me?”

Then meet it with breath. With movement. With presence. If you’d like more information about stress I’m thinking of putting together a guide. Drop a comment below to let me know if you’d like a copy when it’s ready.